It’s hard to stop pushing so hard. I’ve been wake on and off since the baby woke up at 2am. As she nurses, I doze off in my La-Z-Boy recliner (a.k.a. the Boobie Chair). It’s 6:30am. We’ve dozed and nursed and even had a bottle. I’ve given up and started putting away laundry, contemplated washing the bed sheets I hardly sleep in, and wondering how I’m going to get these carpets cleaned while she watches me wide-eyed from her bunny bouncer. Part of me just wants to shove all the loose clothes into the closet and deal with it later since I’m going to be nursing for the next year. That will at least solve part of my carpet cleaning conundrum.
Yesterday was perfect despite the early morning feedings and dozing in the boobie chair 2 hours after dropping Hui.1 at school. She slept for 3 hours in the afternoon. I finally had enough sleep so I made dinner, paid bills, finished a pair of earrings, tidied the kitchen counter (a.k.a. junk accumulator). It was a beautiful sense of normal from a previous life before the third round of baby bouncers and newborn diapers.
It’s 7:15am. She’s had a bottle and a half and finally has stopped crying. She refuses the last half of the bottle. I contemplate loading the dishwasher and making tea with as much caffeine as possible because I have to get Hui.1 to eat something and eventually drag Hui.2 out of bed so we can take Hui.1 to school. That’s always a battle because they both just want to stay home. If you’re considering having multiple kids, have them before the oldest is 5 and is required to go to school unless you’re homeschooling. After that I really don’t have much advice because you’re at the drop-off/pick-up line as a walking zombie cow pushing a stroller with a usually crying infant. At least all the moms are sympathetic. We’ve all been there.
Hui.1 finally decides he wants a spoonful of peanut butter. Fine, he needs the protein and we also have meat loving ants invading the house right now. Hopefully the ant bait will work and they’ll be gone in a few days. Oh yeah, I have an onion bagel in the toaster. I should probably eat that… and make tea. Was I really going to attack the pile of dirty dishes in the sink? Maybe it’s time to instate the FlyLady rule of “shining your sink” every night so we don’t wake up to this much chaos. But then again, baby is wearing the same onesie from yesterday, so chaos is just part of the game right now.
Sleep when the baby sleeps they say… sure, but what happens when the baby is wide awake at 3am? Maybe you stop pushing so hard for the life you once knew and just cuddle with a sliver of hope she goes back to sleep.