Wednesdays are the longest days. Hui.1 has long day at school so we have to be up and ready an hour earlier than the rest of the week. This is the day I insist Jesse uses his paid family leave on the most so I can get a break. I have the rest of the week’s routine down, but dragging 3 kids out the door this early in the morning is worse than herding cats. Having him deal with drop off and pick up just makes it a little bit easier and maybe a bit more sleep when Hui.3 lets me.
I feel lost amongst the sea of teenage emotions and having 3 kids under the age of 6. But that makes it even more important to guard my free time like a hawk so I can remain remotely sane. I have an 8 year plan that incorporates both the jewelry and the kids. In 2 years, Hui.2 will start school, then 3 years after that, Jesse.1 will graduate from high school and start college in the fall while Hui.3 starts transitional kindergarten. Having an overall picture of where I want to be in 5 years helps with all the overwhelming feelings of right now. 5 years from now, I can go to barre after I drop the kids off to school. Or even take a nap in between filling orders and dropping them off at the post office before picking the kids up from school. But the allure of having a solid 4 hours to myself sounds absolutely magical.
Maybe it’s okay to be lost right now. I have 2 new humans to look after now who both really need me. It mostly means being more diligent about cooking at home and learning how to be everyone’s emotional support. It’s a lot, but I do believe it will make me a better artist. Or at least, that’s what I keep telling myself as I throw on some earrings and stretch bracelets as I run out the door, while simultaneously yelling at the boys to sit down and buckle their seatbelts.